Some days I think, "I'm totally nailing this mom thing." And some days I think, "who put me in charge? Seriously? Who thought this was a good idea...I'm sure it wasn't me."
Some days I think it's hilarious and delightful that my purse/diaper bag squeaks when I walk (Sophie the Giraffe). Sometimes I find it incredibly depressing.
Some days I think the thankless-ness of motherhood (at this age at least) is noble and sweet. Some days I get truly offended when all Zeph says is, "DaDa!"
Some days I look in the mirror and am amazed at how my body is 100% utilitarian and that makes it beautiful. Somedays I look in the mirror and a sad little two-note tune rings in my head. "Wha wha."
Some days I don't think of myself hardly at all and it's glorious. And some days I'm a tad bitter I don't have more time for me.
Some days I think, "I'm going to be the best mom ever today!" And some days I think, "let's just hang on until 7:00pm."
Some days I'm productive and industrious and down right incredible! Some days I do the minimum.
Some days I think about how wonderful my life is and how blessed my family and I are, and will continuously be, that I get to be a stay at home mom. Some days I think my life is head-bangingly boring.
Some days I let arguments and tiffs roll off my back as if it were greased. Some days, "Hello," said the wrong way is a fight.
Some days I love my role. Some days I wonder how I'll do it for years to come and I feel trapped.
What I'm saying is that being a mother, wife, and homemaker is not always lovely. Sometimes it's messy. And not messy in a, "how did sweet potatoes get in Zeph's ear AND my ear?" way, though there is that too. But messy in an, "I'm not qualified to be in charge of two additional humans' well being. I will surely cause emotional scaring" kind of way.
But at the end of every. single. day, when I use my hand to brush Zeph's soft hair, or he pats my back after he's dive bombed to give me a hug, or when we eat dinner as a family, or when Joe and I laugh over the same thing, I am full of gratitude for my little family and our wonderful life. And it's all #BecauseofHim. Every bit. Even the days when it's rough. Because at the end of those hard days, because of Him, the next day I get to try harder to be better. And isn't that incredible?
8 comments:
This is the most beautiful post I've read in a long time. I loved every word. I want to print it out and hang it. I think I might - right next to that adorable picture of the three of you in birthday hats. Maddie and I keep going back to look at it.
I agree with Aunt Rachel. It just says so well what I feel and think. So eloquent.
Ande, this is amazing. You have a such a way with words that not only did I shout a silent "Amen!" with every sentence, but I came to understand my own thoughts feelings better by reading this. Thank you.
How do you feel about going viral? ;-)
Thank you! Just, thank you.
You nailed it.
Motherhood in a nutshell. Expressed exactly right. I guess that makes you completely normal.
Love you.
I love this. I love you. I've missed reading your beautiful thoughts. I love that you have a child. Just a lot of love here.
An inspirational story of vuilnerability and overcoming adversity
thanks for having the courage to share
Mentoring Life Coach
Sober Blog
Self Help Recovery
Twelve Step Books
All the best
for the future
Bren
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