Sunday, February 8, 2009

Words of Wisdom

Couples in public places, especially at church, are funny things to watch. Between the back rubs, longing glances, and suit jackets worn over dresses, I was not only spiritually uplifted, but thoroughly entertained in Sunday School today. It reminded me of a funny book Cali made and sent me my first semester of college. It’s called Twelve Fail-Safe Way to Charm BOYS – Advice from Cali’s head, MSN Dating Advice Column, and Common Sense.

Here are a few highlights:
  • Blood red fingernails say more than “blood red fingernails”

  • Absolutely NO NIBBLING! There will be no nibbling on ears, bread, nails, or cookies.

  • Wear perfume. There is nothing more sweet and selfless as wearing perfume so that the other person will enjoy being near you.

  • Be on time! If, for reasons beyond your control, you are going to be late, call them before you are late and let them know.

  • Be gentle on the let down...if you must let down.

  • Do not pick things! Such as: butts, noses, teeth.

And my personal favorite (especially because I'm almost positive Cali made this one up.)

  • Before A Date…
    1. Brush your teeth (and tongue)
    2. Write a list of conversation ideas on your palm
    3. Blow your nose and then look up it to assure no bogies are hanging.

  • When He Shows Up for the Date
    1. Don’t forget to tell him you like his skinny jeans…even if you think they are ugly.
    2. Give him the benefit of the doubt when his wallet is on a chain.
    3. Act excited if he has planned a date that includes you having dinner on a highway median.

This book has a special place on my shelf. Right next to my textbooks.


Neighbor Jane Payne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Oh, do you mean right between your scriptures and your textbooks?

Oh ho, Ande. I do love your posts.

That book of advice Cali gave you is a classic. You and Cali are the Bronte sisters, other than your names aren't Emily and Charlotte. I do love reading what you write.

Ande Payne said...

Actually it is right next to my scriptures...